Not Okay

I don’t know how to explain to you
I don’t know the words to say
That today, yesterday, and the days before
I have not been okay

Not because I’m stuck at home
I know half the world is too
But because of how everything hangs
Between what I feel and what could be true

You could say, I’m just overthinking
Something I do so well
But knowing the mind that I own
One can’t really ever tell

Though right now, I feel as if
I am spiraling into darkness
down into the rabbit hole
where the normal is utter madness

I can’t blame you
I can’t blame me either
We just simply don’t know
How to truly love each other

We try to be as honest as we could
Tell each other what matters
But often times, it is in those moments
When both of our hearts shatters

In your silence you wound me
When you pretend things are fine
In my truth I might have hurt you
I must have stepped over the line

But what can come of this?
I can’t handle vagueness and uncertainty
Your words are cold and dry
But somehow you still won’t tell me

So how do I explain to you
What words can I even say
Today, yesterday, and the days before
I have not been okay